Today I've decided on a two year plan that will take me away from this area and in turn you. For those who view my blog it may seem that I am quite possibly obsessed with you, but I've learned my lesson this time. You don't have any intentions of being with me. I am not the one who makes you happy. And there's someone out there for me anyway, right? Well, now is my time to fly free or fall flat on my face. I can no longer depend on you to catch me when my wings get tired and I have a day when the wind doesn't blow in the right direction so I can soar. Please take care of yourself. My heart will always be with you.
1 comment:
Jennifer, you have a very deep soul. I have always known how sensitive you are. But your writings always amaze me.
You deserve so much. You have a lot, but I know there is more that you desire, and that your heart has been broken. But knowing you as I do, you will survive. The first love is always the hardest to get over. I'm sorry you have gone through, and are going through, this pain. I only wish that I could make it less painful, but I can't.
As for what you wrote, I have no doubt that you will soar, and you don't need anyone to help you with that. Sure, it's nice to have someone there with you, but you will not fall on your face without this particular someone. I am angry your heart was broken, but as the person I am, I never thought that this person was the one you would end up with in life. You were too different from each other. You're too special. He wasn't. I'm sure you're angry for me saying this, but I will be honest, being who I am to you.
I am aware that your work is your pride, and you give it everything you have. I also know that you are stronger than I ever was. I take pride in that.
I worry that you don't leave enough time or energy for the other parts of life. I realize that there are things you need to accomplish. School, work, taking care of your body. Remember to make time for the things that give you a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and memories to carry with you for your lifetime. These things are just as important. The rest will come to you in time.
I don't always understand where you are coming from, and our relationship hasn't been very solid lately. I am trying to keep my distance, let you work out your life. Yours is different from when I was your age, so I don't have much to offer you in that respect. But I have been around a lot longer.
I'm so proud of you. Your life is full of accomplishments. I do know that you feel I haven't been there for you. I have a difficult time with that. But, they are your feelings and I don't have a right to try to change them. That's something that I learned a long time ago about myself.
The person you have become as a woman is so different from the person you were as a child. You, your life, your ethics, your talents, all amaze me. I love you. I'll always love you. Always.
M
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