Monday, June 14, 2004

Damn Horoscopes

"Why do you find relationships so difficult, dear Pisces? You know that interactions with others help you to learn and grow. This is the case for everyone. But for you, especially, relationships are important because they help to keep you "grounded." Too often you dream of reality rather than confronting it. Today's aspects are going to insist that you make a greater effort with those people closest to you..."

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Sunday, June 13, 2004

02/14 - Never Shared (and never completed)
I searched high and low for the perfect card and the perfect words. Unfortunately, no one at Hallmark can describe my desires or foretell my feelings. The task is left to me. The task of telling my tale in a way that will let you know where my mind has been and where it rests on this day embodied by a chubby cherub who pierces hearts with arrows. Plain and simple, one thing is for sure. I love you. Deeply and truly. I’ve dedicated my heart and soul to a man who gazed into my eyes and asked that I be his wife. A gentleman who I am proud to call my fiancĂ©, a soul I miss every second we are apart and an individual I want to satisfy mentally and physically.

For anyone who has seen our story may think it resembles that of a drama that becomes a romantic comedy with touches of an adventure. We’ve had our ups and downs and continuously share our highs and lows. But now I only hope to find our happy medium. A place where you can experience my endless support, a spot where I can forgive myself for the past and a home where we can embrace one another endlessly. Maybe it is only a fantasy, but if it can exist, it will between you and I.

Lately you’ve asked what you want me to tell those who call on you day and night. Somehow it seems that the very words you refuse to use come naturally towards me. Then I question whether I am being selfish or selfless. I turn outside myself to find the happiness you provide when the anger turns to tears and sadness becomes silence. I understand where your dreams have roamed. I see through your eyes the excitement you feel as your accomplishments come closer to completeness. I can’t fulfill those desires. I can’t attempt to
Yesterday the pain was too much. I still love you and fear my future without you conquering it beside me. As tears stream downward, I know I must move forward. The courage is hidden below the subsurface, covered by hope of your touch once more.