As lonely as it may be, the easiest thing for me to do right now is find comfort in another. Yet that would be regressing to my old ways, the very ones that have put me in my situation. It's obvious that you have indulged in another. Whether truly and deeply or simply for fear of feeling the pain I experience. At one time, regardless of what happened between you and I, you were 'done'. I guess that's like many of the statements that have changed.  
 
To anyone who reads this, it's clear I still love you.  Despite your rejections, I want to fall into your arms when I've received bad news or call you on the celly when something great just occurred. And as much as I want to move on, my heart sits in the pit of my stomach waiting for the uncomfortable moment when I pass your new life.